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"Don’t even THINK about getting a hold of my nuts!" }:>

"Don’t even THINK about getting a hold of my nuts!" }:>

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“WTF are you looking at? I’ve got a hat hanging up in my nest that looks like you.” }:>

“WTF are you looking at? I’ve got a hat hanging up in my nest that looks like you.” }:>

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"Skinny bitch." }:>

"Skinny bitch." }:>

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"I don’t care for him." }:>

"I don’t care for him." }:>

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"I’ve seen better breasts on a sparrow." }:>

"I’ve seen better breasts on a sparrow." }:>

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“No!! Way!! I knew this chick in college! She nearly burned down her dorm attempting to make BBQ tuna fish. By the way…she is NOT a natural redhead—if you know what I mean.” ;>

“No!! Way!! I knew this chick in college! She nearly burned down her dorm attempting to make BBQ tuna fish. By the way…she is NOT a natural redhead—if you know what I mean.” ;>

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“These piercings seemed like a good idea at the time…”

“These piercings seemed like a good idea at the time…”